December 2019 – What we regret most before death

Says about the book by Radka Horáková, a member of the Red Button network.

The book draws on the author’s personal experience, having worked for several years in palliative care. Encounters with people whose perspective of imminent death urgently opened painful personal topics and perhaps somewhat forgotten values also transformed her own life. Conversations with the dying revealed several main directions of regret – I wish I had the courage to live truly for myself, not according to others’ expectations; I wish I hadn’t worked so much; I wish I had the courage to express my feelings; I wish I had maintained relationships with my friends; I wish I had allowed myself to be happier… The stories of people saying goodbye to life intertwine with the author’s personal story, seeking a positive meaning in fully experiencing the present while being fully aware of one’s own finiteness. Bronnie Ware is an Australian singer-songwriter who has held various jobs and spent several years in palliative care. The original English edition of the book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying became a worldwide bestseller.

The life decisions people wrestle with most on their deathbed are nowhere near regrets about missing out on bungee jumping or getting a tattoo. On the contrary, people most often regret things that, like tattoos and extreme experiences, could have made a difference but weren’t done because they thought they had time to deal with them. “For me, that was an interesting moment of realization,” says Horáková.

“It often talks about topics like quality relationships. It’s a book about courage and about being open and honest. These are topics we know are important, but they often just run somewhere far in our minds, and people don’t want to face them,” describes Radka Horáková the greatest benefit of the book.